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      Meet Tonia Dunbar and Her Little Boy Tommy........
            (A ten year crack cocaine street addict gets clean out of love and the need to keep her child)

                                     
                                                                                     by John Carcerano

                                                                     
             12 years ago when I was still new in my recovery from alcoholism I happened upon a woman who had the nicest smileand such a warm personality. She seemed very good hearted, though what became clear to me very quickly was that she was an addict. Her name is Tonia Dunbar. Tonia had an addiction to crack cocaine that had destroyed her stable life and caused her to abandon the two young children she loved, who were in the custody of her mom. Thank God for her children that her mom was there to raise them.Tonia was very troubled and lost, and the only thing that kept her mind from focusing on her problems was her addiction to crack cocaine. From 1995 until 2005 she was a hardcore street addict. If you had an encounter with her while she was using, however brief, you came away with the impression that she was guenuine, but with deep troubling issues. The first 6 months I knew her our encounters were brief. I would often see her on the streets of Evanston illinois where she would sometimes ask me for $5 or $6 dollars. I never asked her what she needed it for, but she did seem down and out and really in need for the money. So once in a while I helped her and gave her a few bucks. She told  me she lived in the local neighborhood. As I've said , I'd known her 6 months and only saw her 2 or 3 times a week. Then one evening in the middle of a cold Chicago winter where the temperture was -20 degrees I briskly walked to my car to go somewhere. When I got to my car I soon realized that i had left the doors open. Inside of my car was a person sleeping without any blankets. It was Tonia. I felt so bad to see her there cold, and it quickly dawned on me that she was homeless. I lived in a little studio apartment in the basement of my elderly landlord. I worried about bringing her to my house for fear that my landlord might get the wrong impression. So I spent my  last $50.00 to get Tonia a hotel room so she could have a warm quiet nights sleep. On the way to the hotel I picked up some grapefruits and other food for Tonia to eat because I was sure she was hungry. Tonia had a size 26 or 27 waist. I knew this because I gave her a clean pair of my good jeans which were a size 28 and they kept falling off of her so I also gave her my belt. I remember the look on her face when we first walked into that warm hotel room. She quickly took off her old gym shoes and excitedly ran to the bed and got under the warm covers. She fell right to sleep. I would wake her every so often to see to it that she ate. So she would eat a little food and doze right off again. She would often fall asleep with food still in her mouth.So I had to wake every so often because she would often fall asleep with food still in her mouth. I did'nt want her to choke in her sleep. I felt like I was a father to Tonia. I also felt very happy that someone could be there for her, to comfort her. It was obvious she was hurting. A lot of people just do not understand the pain and suffering an addict goes through. I had a lot of issues going on in my own life when I happened upon Tonia, but I just seemed so focused in wanting to help her quit her addiction to crack and for her to become stable again. 

it was a stormy 10 years of up and down crisises working with Tonia, a story which i will detail briefly as part of several stories which are included in my upcoming book titled "A NEW JOURNEY" RECOVERY FROM ALCOHOL AND DRUG ADDICTION. i will tell you the steps Tonia took to quit her ravaging addiction to crack cocaine.By 2005 Tonia did give up her crack cocaine addiction, and it was motivated by her love of a child she would go on to have while she was addicted. rather than give up the child to the state, the love for that child was a key factor in her getting clean. and the fact that Tonia gave up her hardcore addiction to crack, for the love of her newly born child just attests to the kind and wonderful person that Tonia really is. she has had 3 brief slips while in recovery for the during the past 3 years, but thank GOD that none of those slips led to full blown relapse. I remember when the state was about to take her child, she was crying and very distraught. she told me with such beautiful force and conviction "I don't care what I gotta do, I am going to do it. they are not gonna take Tommy! i will jump through every hoop they (the state) ask me to, but i'm gonna keep Tommy. whatever they tell me to do, I'm just ganna do it"it was so wonderful seeing Tonia make that decision, and I am so proud of how far Tonia has come. she has even found herself a wonderful boyfriend who is also far in his recovery, and at this writing they are engaged. the ups and downs of Tonia's recovery were not easy for her, or those around her. but somehow everyone in Tonia's life helped Tonia pull herself together and find a new life in recovery for her and her beautiful little boy Tommy. there were two times that had i not interveined, Tommy surely could have wound up in a foster home. but knowing Tonia's conviction, i am sure that had that happened, she would have prevailed and ultimately be where she is today, and thats together with her little boy. her family, especially her daughter also played a key role during some turbulent times in order for Tommy to remain with his family and with Tonia. so addiction recovery is something no-one can do alone. support from family and freinds is critical, along with the desire of the person addicted to make a hard decision and then look for the grace to follow through and make the neccesary changes. you are not alone when you decide to get help to quit an addiction. there are wonderful people and support groups to help guide you. if you are suffering from an addiction you too can be a beautiful success story like Tonia's. and you don't have to do it alone.the last time i went to visit Tommy was a few months ago. i was going to bring him his McDonalds happy meal. he did'nt even know that i was going to bring him McDonalds. he was on his front porch with his relatives (Tonia is still in long term treatment) and when he had seen me, his face lit up and he came running yelling "johnny johnny" and he jumped up and gave me such a strong hard hug. you cannot put a price on moments like that. it semed all the continuing effort was well worth this little boys happiness and stability. thank GOD for everybody who playing a role in the outcome of this beautiful story. and thank GOD for the conviction of Tonia to make the decision to make all of this happen. by john carcerano

Great news for Tonia, she just announced that she married her boy friend James on
April 2nd 2008. She is now over 3 years clean and living a life she never
dreamed possible. Good luck Tonia, we love you! From  NewJourneyRecovery




                                                                                                                                                         


                                                 
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