Anyone have some advice? i think im depressed..?

alright at first i was reluctant to do this because ive convinced myself that im perfectly fine and that its all in my head. but at this point, i honestly just dont know what to do. and id feel a little better if i got some one elses advice on this. answers are greatly appreciated so thanks in advance

welll. i have a feeling i might be depressed. its been going on for a couple years now. since i was like 14. now im 16. my eating and sleeping patterns are constantly changing. like last year, i wouldnt eat. this year, i eat a lott. and for sleeping - i either cant sleep at night or sleep too much. and im always tired. lately, i cant sleep or concentrate, especially in school, because my mind is constantly racing and the only way to block out the thoughts is listening to music.

i always feel alone, because i am. i never do anything except like go to school and sit in my room every day listening to music. i just dont have many friends. and my best friend hasnt talked to me in a few days [shes two years older than me] and i havent seen her in three weeks. and i absolutely hate it and it hurts a lot, not seeing her more often. i dont think she realizes how much she hurts me but i can never tell her because im younger, so i always feel bad. that im like interfering with her other friends. idk.

i have a low self confidence, i usually blame myself for things and when i do something wrong [like missing an important call because i was sleeping] i beat myself up for it. not literally, but i feel completely horrible inside about it.

and i just dont feel like theres a point in living anymore. because like its the same thing over and over, every day. its really boring and sad and i just dont like it at alll.

hmm what else..

well now that i have no one to talk to since my best friend hasnt been there.. i kinda just keep everything inside. and ive been considering talking to someone at school about it.. but like i said, i tell myself im fine and that theres nothing wrong with me so it would be stupid to talk to someone about it. and i can never get up the courage to talk anyway. like, ill decide to talk to a teacher about it, and then when i get to that class, i just cant do it. i feel like an idiot =/


theres a lot more but ill spare the rest of the details. sorry for ranting, i kinda just need to get things off my mind. if you read all of this, thanks a lot. so what do you think? do you think its depression or am i just thinking too much?
[oh and i cant tell my parents, so please, dont suggest that.]

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